My My How Time Flies

I'll start this post off with this quote that I love because it's true for most of us in my opinion especially me..

" This is morning - that's when I spend the most time thinking about what I've given up.. "

I don't know about most people but I'm guessing from my own experience that mornings are usually when I think the most. Mainly because most of my mornings are spent alone or whatever. This morning is no different I find myself thinking about a year and half ago/two years ago. I feel like a lot has changed not talking about me like appearance an stuff I'm talking about who's around me I lost sooooo many good friends or at least friends I thought were good. I find myself as lonely as I have ever been. It's kind of sad in my eyes mainly because I like attention and like having fun I just find it hard nowadays to just throw myslef at people for friendship probably because so many people are liars and are so phony and I think I'd rather be alone than deal with that drama. Yeah but back to what I was saying I lost a lot of people and often wonder what life would be like if they were still here. I mean I have no regrets I don't think because everyone is placed in your life for specific reasons at specific times. So if someone is supposed to be there all your life than hey so be it if not then why should it be any different. I guess the reason I'm so optimistic is because over time all these things I thought were guaranteed I find out they aren't at all.. heartbreaks, backstabbers, lies etc. all these things came into effect and shaped my whole mindset. I mean I'm only 19 so I guess there's still time for things to change. I'm not sure what I want but when I find it I'm sure I'll be happier but until next time laterrr