Welcome to " my zone " once you enter your in the awes of my world - music, movies, art, my life and a bunch of other little things that might tickle your fancy. Once your in there's no turning back. Enjoy.
You know those points in life where you wish you could do this ? Just all the pain, hardship, agony, problems and issues would go vanish in a.. bang. Oh well I appreciate life too much to do it but it's just a feeling. This is one reason I hope my dreams will come true because as soon as I ever get that feeling I can afford to go away to a place where no one knows me I can relax and have fun. You know what I mean like a foreign country or secluded island. That would be loads of fun. Don't take this as a suicidal message because it wouldn't ever come to that I don't even think I would have the balls to do that. I'm sure everyone feels like this sometimes. Just a harsh joke.. hence the Bang !
Well I'm moving back to NY soon for this very reason. I guess you have to learn from your mistakes I guess. When I get back I'm going to enroll into a recording arts school. Something I actually want to do so that I can fulfill my dreams of being in the music industry. And I put this on everything if I make it (when I make it ) as soon as I stabilize my financial situation I'm going to start with a few schools where you just go to learn what YOU want so you don't have to sift through these bullshit ass extra classes that they make you take. Kind of like trade school I guess.. now why aren't there more of those or ALL of those because some of this other shit is just stupid as hell and unnecessary. and it just pisses me off.. sigh ok I'm done.. but think about that.
It's pretty cool and different. I don't really know what I took from it yet except that maybe fame kills which Kanye seems to be emphasizing a lot about these days.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Today was my birthday I feel like I've been alive longer than 20 years.
It's come to my realization that I've been an asshole to someone I truly love.. Macy. This is something or someone I thought I'd never be - and for that I'm truly sorry. This is someone I promised myself I'd never hurt yet I pretty much abandoned her in her biggest time of need a weight that I should be able to bear (if thats the right word for it). Abandoning her was my way of copping with the situation instead of 1. Being honest and 2. Just being there overall. Macy I know you'll see this and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you with all my heart and promise I'll never do anything like that again. I hope I can earn your trust back and we can be we again like we were. That is all.
What a way to start October a month that should make me happy since my birthday is in 16 days.. yet I wake up from a horrible night terror feeling alone wishing I had someone next to me. I'm not complaining though - I kind of feel like it was God asking me to speak with him. I lay on my hands and knees in the middle of my bed thanking him for what he's done for me these past weeks and asking him to continue to bless and protect my family & friends. I then lay in my bed reflecting on how horrible in my opinion the night terror was I decided to go on my porch. It's so beautiful out not hot at all just cool and calm. The only heat I received was from the bright sun shining through the screen of my porch listening to The Fray and enjoying how beautiful it is outside. Sometimes I have & need these moments where I'm alone. I enjoyed that and now I feel good again. Happy October people.
Haven't really been on this much for many reasons. I'd like to say being unhappy is one of them but I don't think it is.. I'm enjoying my life even though there's been ups and downs everyone has those and I won't make it out to seem like it's just me feeling this way because it's not. Plenty of people are feeling the exact same and maybe even worse. A lot has happened during this time I was away my car got towed and I had to pay $282 to get it out and $175 to get it transported to my friends house because it can't stay where I'm living since it has to tags and registration & I got dumped.. but the smallest thing made me happy football season and just having my friends around me to take my mind off of it. Can't forget my Mom & Dad telling me that that's how life is sometimes.. what a shame I haven't realized by now right ? wrong. mainly because life never seizes to amaze me. Well I'll stop there with this lyric from Kid Cudi's " Pursuit Of Happiness "
"I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold; Hey I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; Yeah..
I've been really busy with this whole move in set up and school starting and shit. I moved into my new apartment complex called Campus Lodge it's pretty cool so far way better than where I was at before but anyway its further from where I used to live so I have to depend on rides and stuff until I get my car which is lord knows when. My parents said its getting picked up Saturday so it should be here next week but then I still can't drive it until the title is in my name and I get it registered here in Florida. Plus my school schedule is all fucked up in my opinion especially when I don't have a car.. the times are all over the place and one class I picked up by accident I find out is remedial so yea nothings really going right for me and I need to get a bunch of shit done had a decent meal yesterday for the first time in like 2 and a half weeks Kyle fried up some chicken that was realllly good especially with his Cajun sauce he bought. So yea that sums up where I've been. Later
I love this video soooooooo much and the song and the concept and and and I woke up at 8 oclock again lol but it wasn't as bad this time I think I'm getting used to it. =D anyway watch this video its so cool.
I've been going to sleep earlier wanting to wake up at like 10 or so and have been waking up at 8 what the hell that's not what I want =\ maybe I should stay up later
Album comes out September 8th I love this band hope to see them in concert one day. This is the first single.
Top down in the summer sun The day we met was like a hit and run And I still taste it on my tongue The sky was burning up like fireworks You made me want you oh so bad it hurt But girl, in case you haven’t heard
I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover I’ll love you forever Forever is over We used to kiss all night Now it’s just a bar fight So don’t call me crying Say hello to goodbye
Cause Just one sip would make me say I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover Ill love you forever But now it’s over
Hot sweat and blurry eyes We’re spinning on a roller coaster ride The world stuck in black and white You drove me crazy every time we touched But now I’m so broken that I can’t get up Oh girl, you make me such a lush
I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover I’ll love you forever Forever is over We used to kiss all night Now its just a bar fight So don’t call me crying Say hello to goodbye
Cause Just one sip would make me say I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover Ill love you forever But now it’s over
All the time I wasted on you All the bullshit you put me through Checking into rehab is everything that we had Didn’t mean a thing to you
I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover Ill love you forever But now it’s over
I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover I’ll love you forever Forever is over We used to kiss all night Now it’s just a bar fight So don’t call me crying Say hello to goodbye
Cause Just one sip would make me say I used to be love drunk But now I’m hungover Ill love you forever But now it’s over
Even though everyone is on the Drake wagon so am I can't deny that. I feel like Cudi is underrated and make GREAT music - ORIGINAL music name another person that makes his kind of sound and music.. don't worry i'll wait.. .. .. .. thought so. Catch up with the Kid named Cudi with this interview.
Glad I got over my fear of roller coasters during my senior trip or I'd be missing out on shit like this.. My boy Rusty came up from West Palm with some of his boys and we went to Busch Gardens wish I could of taken pictures but we locked all of our shit in a locker because we couldn't have lose objects on us. Anyway the most intense ride we went on was this one in the picture called Sheikra which has a 200 ft vertical drop I went on twice once in the middle and in the front row shit was crazy though i feel like I can go on any ride now. Then again I felt like that since I went to King's Dominion and have gotten on every roller coaster in every theme park I've been to since.
I'll start this post off with this quote that I love because it's true for most of us in my opinion especially me..
" This is morning - that's when I spend the most time thinking about what I've given up.. "
I don't know about most people but I'm guessing from my own experience that mornings are usually when I think the most. Mainly because most of my mornings are spent alone or whatever. This morning is no different I find myself thinking about a year and half ago/two years ago. I feel like a lot has changed not talking about me like appearance an stuff I'm talking about who's around me I lost sooooo many good friends or at least friends I thought were good. I find myself as lonely as I have ever been. It's kind of sad in my eyes mainly because I like attention and like having fun I just find it hard nowadays to just throw myslef at people for friendship probably because so many people are liars and are so phony and I think I'd rather be alone than deal with that drama. Yeah but back to what I was saying I lost a lot of people and often wonder what life would be like if they were still here. I mean I have no regrets I don't think because everyone is placed in your life for specific reasons at specific times. So if someone is supposed to be there all your life than hey so be it if not then why should it be any different. I guess the reason I'm so optimistic is because over time all these things I thought were guaranteed I find out they aren't at all.. heartbreaks, backstabbers, lies etc. all these things came into effect and shaped my whole mindset. I mean I'm only 19 so I guess there's still time for things to change. I'm not sure what I want but when I find it I'm sure I'll be happier but until next time laterrr
I really want to put the subject of this man to rest with him but I guess if its about music it shouldn't matter. I just find it amazing how someone so shy and so quiet as you would see in interviews can turn into such a dynamic entertainer he just totally switches gears its like looking at night and day and thats crazy to me I love it though.
Today was pretty much a stay inside and chill. I stayed in and played Gears Of War 2 for like 9 hours lol. We usually have good convos while playing that game. It's kind of a way to escape but I guess some people don't think so. I told someone a secret in regards to them that felt good to get out but that was like yesterdizzle. I feel good about doing it. Anywaysss yea so I ate some food I made yesterday Velvetta, baked beans and spam. Sounds nasty I know but it is amazing =D.. lets seeee what elseeee ummm I started writing another song I'd like to finish it in 2 or 3 days not sure what I want to call it yet because I havent done the chorus yet but it might be called " Sunshine " or some shit like that. So far it's a comparison of love and war not sure how far i'll go with that. but now i'm going to watch Eagle Eye with my roomates annnddd yeaaa.
My ship went down In a sea of sound When I woke up alone I had everything A handful of moments I wish I could change And a tounge like a nightmare That cut like a blade
In a city of fools I was careful in clue But they tore me apart like a hurricane A handful a moments I wish I could change But I was carried away
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything Therapy You were never a friend to me You can keep all your misery
My lungs gave out As I face the crowd I think that keeping this up could be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone I'm a rolling stone And the experts say in delirious
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything Therapy You were never a friend to me You can take back your misery
Arrogant boy Love yourself so no one has to They're better off without you (they're better off without you)
Arrogant boy Cause a scene like you were supposed to They'll fall asleep without you You're lucky if your memory remains
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything Therapy You were never a friend to me You can take back your misery
Therapy I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything Therapy You were never a friend to me You can choke on your misery
I have a tendency of letting little things get to me when they shouldn't something I thought I've corrected but everything seems to have reemerged. It's funny though because I say whatever like it doesn't bother me but on the contrary it fucking eats me up inside to the point where I feel like punching a little baby.. lol ok too much I'm just kidding but I feel like breaking my fist on a wall just so I can focus on the pain on my throbbing hand than the things I think about which I'd rather not disclose on this blog. Anyway it will all get better in time I guess.
Anyway today wasn't productive at all.. the highlight of my day was when I cleaned and rearranged my room which is actually cool it feels more spacious and shit but w.e. I watched the MJ memorial which saddened me but at least now he can rest in piece.I sit here and realize I can't wait for school because I want to make more friends out here to take my mind off of things that bug me out and also to take my mind off of feeling extremely lonely from time to time which is sad I know but I'll get over it and hopefully will meet some new people but vat evaaaa just a little venting.. probably going to watch a movie with my roomates then head to bed =d
A lot of times I feel like I'm locked out from getting to where I want to go and I always have to find a way out. Most of the time I prevail so I guess this time is no different.
This conversation is one of the most inspiring I've ever heard: A reporter speaking to Kobe Bryant.
On Wednesday, it is suggested he might have hit a wall.
Kobe : "So what if I did?" he says. "I didn't, but so what if I did?
3 days in a row I've been having weird dreams. Each one very realistic but each one most likely not going to happen. I don't like these dreams because they are starting to linger in my mind as " what ifs ". All three of my dreams have NOTHING to do with each other.. or do they ? Am I having these dreams out of fear of something ? or is it because of some type of way deep in my subconscious ? I don't really know and I'm not sure but what ever just venting that because it woke me up today at 7:30am. Laterrrrr
"Sitting on a truffet Puffing on the best cut bud tryna get butt from ms. muffet Me and teddy rockspins stirring up a ruckus egging all the houses smashing all the pumpkins suck-a-dick buttkiss chumps can't funk with the punk kids Ash Roth be the king of the blumpkins any Tim Duncan, spur of the moment let the whole world know I run shit jump ship quick, tell a friend that I'm dumb sick spit fungus that'll grow from a dumb trip twist to a front flip son that was some trick watch all the dumb chicks hump when I bump this.."
I was fortunate to see this in person while I was in Tampa, FL which was the FIRST show he did of these new set of jokes and what not and it was funny as hell watching it a second time was just as funny. Dane Cook did this particular special in the LA based Laugh Factory. He decided to tape this one because it was a more intimate setting and shown how much he grown as a comedian. He took a while off and in that time off lost both his mom and his dad to cancer. He talks about these things a lot of the stuff he spoke about was personal but nonetheless still funny. The CD & DVD come out on Tuesday, May 19th so if you want get it I highly recommend Dane is definitely my favorite comedian.
I saw Star Trek this weekend (yes I'm late oh well) but yes I saw it and this girl is beautiful maybe I'm late on her but I don't care she's my pick for this weeks " Hottie Of The Week"
Well well well.. I knew SOME Coldplay songs and I knew they were good but this little compilation of hits really amazed me. Even though it's live its clear enough to understand and since I listen to music deeply this had a bunch of different feelings spewing out. NO not crying emotion lol but just had me thinking. I suggest you download this and enjoy it. It's good stuff. Thank my fellow blogger ICE and check out his blog at ICEDOTCOM could be the reason I blog and do this here a certain way. Anyway listen&download here -----> LeftRightLeftRightLeft you won't be dissapointed.
Even though I want to make music and if I ever make it to that point cannot wait for my first real interview. I would also look forward to interviewing people mainly because celebrities are so interesting. Anyway here are two interviews featuring Eminem should be a lot more coming and going as his album " Relapse " draws near release date May 19th check these out and buy the album !
Here's one of Kanye's artists off off G.O.O.D Music Record Label Mr.Hudson's first single off his album Straight No Chaser due out August 3. It's called Super Nova feat. Kanye West <---(download here) and its a great song..
I seriously think this kid Drake is going to give Kanye some more competition in the hip-hop industry he's got the most buzz since 50's "Get Rich Or Die Tryin' " and has lived up to the hype and hasn't even dropped an official album yet.. His mixtape " So Far Gone " is better than most rappers out there's official albums.. case in point look out for him.
When I get rich I want to have a bomb ass bedroom thats different from anyone I've ever been in here's a few examples.. and since I'm going to have more than one place I'll do each one very creative and different =]
I haven't really posted new music because I'm not going to post anything that I don't think is hot but here is something that I really like.. download here --> Take You Down Remix-Drake (Cover For Lil Wayne) it was supposed to go on Dedication 3 but didn't make the cut.
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